The Least Hypocritical Man in the Entire United States

He Wants One Big Thing

This afternoon, the talking heads talk of Mitch McConnell’s hypocrisy. They are dead wrong. Mitch McConnell is our country’s least hypocritical person. His interview with Politico yesterday evening let the cat out of the bag:

“My goal is, in every way possible, to have nominees representing the Republican Party who can win in November,” McConnell said by telephone. “Some of them may be people the former president likes. Some of them may not be. The only thing I care about is electability.”

He Cares About One Big Thing

Dumb as a rock but electable? Fine with Mitch.

Crooked as a snake but electable? Fine with Mitch.

Crazy as a loon but electable? Fine with Mitch.

There is only one thing he cares about. He told us what it is. He is many things. But a hypocrite, he is not. He revels in his unscrupulousness. 


He Knows One Big Thing

Thinkers have famously been divided between foxes and hedgehogs: the fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing. Mitch is a hedgehog, and here is the One Big Thing he thinks he knows. He thinks he knows that he can get most of the 74,216,154 people who voted for Trump in 2020 to come out and vote for Republican congressional candidates in 2022. But those 74 million folks are divided into two categories: those who believe the Big Lie about the “stolen” election, and those who understand that the Big Lie is in fact a big lie. And so, if the pro-Big Lie folks and the anti-Big Lie folks are still at one another’s throats in 2022, then old Moscow Mitch can just bend over and kiss it goodbye.

Item: Georgia, where Rev. Senator Warnock will be up for reelection, and where the Big Lie just fell flat on its face in the January runoff.

Item: Pennsylvania and North Carolina, where current Republican Senate seats will be vacant.

Item: South Dakota, where the God Emperor may be out for the blood of Republican Senator John Thune, who will be running for reelection if he survives the Republican primary.

Item: Wisconsin, where idiot Republican Ron Johnson will be running again in a state that went for Biden.

Item: Arizona, a closely divided state where Mark Kelly will be running again. And, last but far from least,

Item: Ohio, where the current Republican Senate seat will be up for grabs, in a state the tends Republican but where the Big Lie believers may well be in the minority.

His Hail Mary Pass is the One Big Thing in his Bag of Tricks

Mitch was just fine and dandy with pre-Big Lie Trump? 74,216,154 Republican voters. What’s not to like? But if those voters remain split, and if the split grows, then the Republican coalition will be well and truly broken. And so, our friend Moscow Mitch is not being hypocritical. Not in the least. What Moscow Mitch is telling the God Emperor and his most fervent political supporters is, “WOULD YOU ALL JUST PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!”